First of all let me just tell you that suffering from insomnia really, really, REALLY stinks. They had some statistic in a training class I attended that said a human could survive weeks without food but only a few days without sleep.
I haven't had more than 4 hours of solid sleep since I was on vacation. My problem is my brain doesn't shut off. I think about all that I have to work on and get accomplished the next day. I wake up from a sound sleep worried about stupid little things like remembering meetings or something I need to bring to work for someone. I have a notebook on the nightstand to write these things down otherwise I lay there repeating, "Don't forget the coupon for so and so."
Then there are the dreams. When I'm stressed about something, I dream that I am drowning in whatever it is that I'm stressed about. When I worked retail, at Christmas time I dreamt of drowning in clothes, let me tell you inhaling a big, fluffy, wool sweater is very distressing. When something isn't working right with the software I'm working on, I can't stop thinking about it, trying to resolve the problem in my head. I have had some good revelations at 3 a.m. but then I'm really cranky and annoyed by everyone the next day.
I will admit, I am at that point where I'm feeling cranky and annoyed by everyone. I really have zero patience. In addition to being cranky, lack of sleep makes me completely inarticulate.
The guys in the cave (our tech team sits in a windowless, vent less room that was once a closet) found it quite funny yesterday after I managed to some how gum up the test server and I was trying to ask them if they could reboot the thing only I couldn't think of the word "reboot". So I'm asking them to do their magic "thing" they do while I'm doing some little dance trying to physically describe it. Finally it came out "can you just punch it or kick it or something to make it work." One of the guys shook his head and said, "Yah, I think either of those options would work." While the two other guys just looked at me and laughed and requested I do my little 'dance' again.
So anyway, lack of sleep is killing my brain cells and causing my body to do strange convulsions or gyrations or something in my attempt to act out what I'm trying to say. ARGH!!!
Exercise has always helped even out my sleep patterns - - so besides getting back in shape so I can fit into my cute spring dresses and skirts, I'm hoping to stay consistent with my workouts so I can actually start sleeping again.
Today was my first day swimming laps. I haven't swam laps since last summer. Long gone are my days of doing a 500 in under 10 minutes. However, it wasn't long ago that I was swimming 2 miles several days a week. I want to be able to do this again.
Today's swim was humbling. Very humbling. You know how there are people who can just run miles effortlessly without ever having to train. That used to be me with swimming. Clearly that isn't me anymore. I did a 100 and my arms were SCREAMING! Let me tell you, I didn't even swim that fast. The pool was crowded so we had to swim circles and I could get a 30 second rest after each length while I waited for the person in front of me to get a good distance ahead. I did this for an hour. I have no idea how many laps I swam. I am tired. My arms feel like rubber. So I think I will be able to sleep tonight. Yay!
I am so glad that tomorrow is FRIDAY!
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